I Guess All Doctors Dislike Xanax

Credit: Stockexpert

 

I use the automated phone service of my pharmacist to renew my Xanax. Every 20 or 30 days, I call them up and get a refill without ever having to speak with a human; I don’t even have to see the doctor.

All that changed a few days ago.

A few hours after ordering more Xanax from the CVS robot, I got a call from the pharmacist. Apparently the doctor finally looked at my charts and realized I hadn’t been in there since 2012.

“You’ll have to see the doctor in order to get a refill,” she explained.

I was pretty desperate because I pushed back a car inspection appointment in order to see the doctor the following morning.

The receptionist even had to check my insurance card again since it had been ages.

I really thought the doctor would just write me a script and send me on my way (since that is what he has always done). This time, however, things went a bit differently.

He was actually hesitant.

“Are you still on Effexor and Lamictal?” He studied his iPad screen as he spoke.

“Um, not any more. I’m on Zoloft, Trazodone, …” My words trailed off. He’s tricked me! Just like a cop.

Then I remembered that he was the one who had prescribed those medications. My paranoia got the better of me obviously. I had already confessed, though, so the secret was out: He now knows about the medication from my psychiatrist.

“You know, you really don’t need Xanax with all those others. We need to get you off the Xanax.”

No!

“But I still get panic attacks when I drive and stuff.”

“Then I’ll prescribe a month’s worth and then we’ll see.”

Not what I wanted to hear.

What if I’m addicted to Xanax? I very well could be. I don’t have enough time or money to go into a rehab program. What will my wife say?

When I first moved back to the U.S., one of my first stops was at a small clinic next to my apartment complex. The only doctor in there told me she didn’t prescribe Xanax because I would “end up in the Betty Ford Clinic like all those Hollywood stars.”

You’ve made your bed. Now you must lie in it.

~t

 

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About Topaz

I'm a college teacher, writer, and faithful Catholic. I do my best to juggle all of these while dealing with my mental illness -- a constant thorn in my flesh. View all posts by Topaz

8 responses to “I Guess All Doctors Dislike Xanax

  • Jolene

    Hi Topaz

    I’m really surprised that you have gone this long without having to see your doctor regarding your xanex….most physicians have a policy that in order for you to even refill your script after the (3rd refill) you need to be seen or have lab work done…depending on the medication.

    The reason why your physician gave you a 30 day supply is because he/she could be liable since its addictive substance. He/She is hoping you can ween yourself off of this medication within the next 30 days. i know it sounds impossible, xanax has become a necessity in your life…..but you need to trust the doctor.

    In some cases when you mix a butt load of different medication together it can create one heck of a cocktail in your blood stream making your emotions go haywire.

    Instead of a whole pill take half….or one every other day….try to get it out of your system.

    best of luck! You are in my prayers.

    • Topaz

      Jolene,

      Thank you for your reply. It’s always great to hear from you.

      You think I should wean myself off Xanax? I’m scared because I’ve been on it so long. Sometimes when I get a panic attack, I wonder if it’s truly from anxiety or if it’s just a craving.

      I am scheduled to see my psychiatrist in a couple weeks. You think I should be open with him and slowly get away from Xanax? What if I can’t do it?

      • Jolene

        Topaz,

        You can do anything you put you mind to….you have carried many crosses, you have fallen down and by the grace of God and your own will you have overcome some very tough moments.
        I do think you should be open with him ….he could lower your dose, until you no longer need it. If he knows you want to take steps to back off of this med, the more he will take you seriously. Trust me.
        Don’t be scared …..ask your guardian angel to help you, to give you courage. You can do this….

      • Topaz

        Thank you, Jolene. I will talk to the doctor about this when I see him next week.

  • Kim

    Listen, I too have suffered from Panic/Anxiety Disorder since 2001. I had to learn coping skills like breathing exercises and meditation to deal without Xanax. Trust me I get it, when your having an actual attack you want anything to take it away as fast as possible. However, I noticed once I learned to cope on my own the attacks actually began to dissipate. You can do it, have no fear.

  • Jen Kropf

    Be brave man. I can actually relate to this. Stay strong.

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