I Try Really ******* Hard

I really do. I do everything that is expected of me. I go out of my way to do well at my brand-new job. I really do try ******* hard at life.

I try hard to get accustomed to a new parish in a completely new city, a city that hasn’t shown any kindness yet. No one gives a **** whether I attend Mass or not. The local K of C council welcomes me by ******** and moaning about not having enough volunteers at events. 

I try really ******* hard at my marriage. I’m pleasant, loving, and I cross all of my *******  T’s and dot all of my ******* I’s. Doesn’t do a bit of good. The wife doesn’t care when I get home each afternoon.

I try really ******* hard to pay off my DWI debt to the county, state, and to the city. Everyone wants my hard-earned money; I can’t make it fast enough for them to snatch it out of my hands.

I try really ******* hard to enjoy life, but I don’t see the point a lot of the time. We live, we go through hell on earth, and we die. 

Bunch of ******** if you ask me. 

 

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About Topaz

I'm a college teacher, writer, and faithful Catholic. I do my best to juggle all of these while dealing with my mental illness -- a constant thorn in my flesh. View all posts by Topaz

5 responses to “I Try Really ******* Hard

  • Food For The Journey

    Really, really good to hear from you Topaz! I understand that you have many difficulties with this life and trying to comprehend how it is all wrong. I get that. God gets that. It was never His intention that it be this way. The very hope we have in Christ is the promise that He will create all things new again and we will enjoy peace, absolute peace. Stop trying, Topaz. God loves you just as you are. All those other people don’t matter.

  • Leslie Hidley

    Sorry – I don’t mean to be a pest but have been worrying and praying about you all night. I should have explained why I thought you were going for humor… you swore so much in your post – unlike your other posts – it just struck me that you were trying to be funny – it was so unlike your other writing. But it must be the stress of the new job, new parish, new everything has got you a bit off-kilter maybe. Anyway, as a friend used to say to me: “Relax with all your might!.”

    You are in my prayers and the prayers of many of your readers. Regards, Leslie Hidley >

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